Dating Confidently

I know by now you guys have probably read a lot of blog posts about what it is like to be fat while dating, struggles and the emotional impact it has on the said person. However, in this post I want to share what I believe means to date confidently. I also want to share my mistakes, my feelings, and why I believe those mistakes and feelings ruined so many relationships, while also highlighting why confidence is a major key when it comes to dating and relationships.

Let's begin!! 

1) Insecurity

Insecurity is a big and major component in both dating and being in a relationships. As for me, it honestly ruined dates before it got serious enough to be in a relationship. Sometimes we think so much about our weight and we think that our partner is also concerned. We use that as an excuse, and when we get into arguments, or reasons as to something is not working out, we put tend to point EVERYONE's fingers on our weight and body. And sometimes there is a huge chance that our weight is not the problem. Our flaws or what we THINK are our flaws is not the issue. It is US. We focus on our appearance instead of who we genuinely are and assume everyone else  is to.  

For me, I always felt like no matter what I do I'll always lose a man because of my weight. I felt like my weight was what would affect how long a relationship would last. I would constantly ask myself how long will this guy realize he's dating a big girl. I sometimes would question them "why are you dating me?, What do you see in me?"  And that thinking affected my actions and the way I treated certain guys. 


2) Not being myself

 I WAS always afraid of being myself, because I felt like I would be judge because, yes , my weight. For example, going out to eat was the hardest, when it came to ordering. I would purposely get a salad, knowing deep down inside of me that steak looked amazing!!! I did not want my weight to generalize what I ate, but then again I was hungry!!!!!

Never allow the stereotypes that exists of fat women to make you feel like you need to be different. Being fat does not mean we eat constantly, but do not be afraid to eat in public, even on a date. When you are hungry, eat what you want. You are more than your weight, and that is  such a major key.

3) Acceptance

Acceptance was also a big thing for me. I accepted just about anything, not believing that I was allowed to have standards. Which is the worst thing a person can do to themselves. I accepted being treated differently, I accepted being spoke to any how, believing that being this size is my punishment. And I am telling you, that should NEVER EVER EVER be the case. 

Do not eveR feel that you do not deserve the best, because of your size.

Do not ever feel that you should accept bad treament, to be cheated on, to be lied to, to feel less than.



4) Confidence

When it comes to dating and being in a relationship confidence is soooo essential guys. I've learned that what really attract guys the most is a confident woman. And I believe that goes the same way for us women, a confident male. Someone that is sure of themselves, knows their value and their worth. I realized that it was not my weight that led to short dates, and relationships but rather my lack of confidence. Always feeling unworthy, and waiting the reassurance from my partner that I was worthy, worthy enough to be, to be liked, to be loved!! 

 After my experiences, I realized that I did not want to be that person anymore. my experiences gave allowed me to grow and made me ready to start dating again. 

For me, when a man looks at me, I am not concerned of my size, or my weight. I am more concerned on him seeing Anita, the funny, sassy, sarcastic, kind hearted person I am. I am more concerned in him seeing a woman who knows their values, a woman confident in herself.

And the confidence plays a major role on how you dress up for date nights.

Below are two date night looks, I've come up with. 


You have to date confidently. Date knowing your worth, your value, trust me it makes thing a lot easier and it is the best way to avoid wasting your time. When you date confidently, it is easier to get rid of the ones who do not deserve you! 


Thank you for stopping by!!! Don't forget to leave a comment!!!!! <3

Photography Credit: Caitee Smith Photography

Anita Matey2 Comments