To my friend that left too soon,

                    I can't believe I am even writing this. I still can't believe you're gone. I know you were tired, I know you wanted to rest, and I know I am selfish for wanting you to live longer. I know. But there's a lot you don't know. You don't know the impact you had on my life. You never understood what it meant to me when you picked up my phone calls and allowed me to vent about any and everything. You never knew how much it meant to me when you would come by my job and wait for me to take the bus together. Just to listen to your jokes, your future plans, your opinions on everything. 

                  You preached nothing but confidence to me. You have always said you never understood what was wrong with my eyes, or what mirror I stared at every morning. Your words were always "girl you are beautiful and if I had your ass, the world would not be ready". 

                  Our last conversation, July 24th, I kept telling you how much I missed you because it hit me that it had been a year since I saw you after you moved. I sent you my blog pics and you said "girl you look so delicious" lol. Your comments man, your comments. But you also told me how proud you were and that I should be thankful. And that was it. That was our last conversation. And now I wish I could respond back and say that  I am thankful, I am thankful for you. I wish I could call you again to tell you how much I love you. Right now I just have wishes...

                     Although you are not physically here, for some reason I feel your presence. Everywhere I go I feel your spirit, I close my eyes and see your smile. And I just pray to God to give you rest because I know that is all you ever wanted, simply rest and no more pain . I promise to continue to make you proud and to forever remain thankful. I am thankful to have known you and I am thankful to know you're still with me, rejoicing, laughing, crying, and sharing every moment. 

 I can't wait to see you again,  and to see that beautiful smile of yours. Until then keep watching over your family, and everyone who loved you. And I promise with everything in me to remain confident, embrace everything you have taught me about self love and value. 

 With love always,


your friend that never got a chance to say good bye

Anita MateyComment