Confidence beyond Instagram

Hi my loves!!!

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written a post, but guys I’ve been struggling lately. And to be honest, my struggle lately has been my confidence. It has been challenged so much to a point that I felt as if I lost it and by losing my confidence, I honestly lost the woman I’ve worked so hard to get.  

Snapseed 14.jpg

When I first began blogging everyone’s reaction was “girl you have soo much confidence”  or "omg I would never wear that, but you look so good', or this one "for a big girl you sure have a lot of confidence". and I use to think “go Anita, look at you exuding all this confidence on the gram”  


And I actually thought that was enough. Being able to pull off looks other people, not just plus size women, were afraid of.  Doing things like wearing body con dresses, or wearing dresses that showed how far my stretch marks traveled, I actually believed those actions solidified that I was confident.  I thought me being a confident person meant that I knew how to dress and that was it. It wasn’t until God placed me in a new job setting, around different groups of people that I realized that my confidence was way below the meter. 

My confidence in my skills, my abilities were non existent. My confidence in God was non existent, although I prayed constantly and assured myself that He was always with me. However, the confidence that only existed was the confidence I showed off as a  plus size blogger, which was evident in countless instagram posts. The  comparison between real life and instagram allowed me to realize and  force myself to accept the truth about myself. I came to a point that I need to accept that in real life doubt and fear were the drivers of my life. And me being insecure about my abilities and my skills at work were killing my chances with new opportunities that were coming my way. 

I came to a point that I realized that I needed confidence in all aspects of my life. I needed to boldly approach everything in my life and not just clothes. And After listening to an amazing podcast by Rich Wilkerson I realized the missing link between myself and the idea of confidence. This link was faith. 

You see, Webster dictionary defines confidence as the following:

"the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.

"we had every confidence in the staff"

synonyms:trust, belief, faith, credence, conviction"I have little confidence in these figures"

  • the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

    "it is not possible to say with confidence how much of the increase in sea levels is due to melting glaciers"

  • a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

    "she's brimming with confidence".

    The common denominator in these definitions are feeling of being certain, believing in something or someone, FAITH. 

How can one have confidence and not have faith? 

How can one be confident in one aspect of their life, but in other aspects not have any hope, or worse, be fearful.  Confidence cannot happen without faith. And having confidence in one aspect of your life can leave you feeling incomplete. I am choosing today to have confidence beyond instagram. Better yet I am choosing now to have FAITH in God. 


Phil 1:3

Be confident that he who began a good word in you will carry it out through completion. 

Photography by: MissO Photography

Anita MateyComment